Tradition, according to dictionary
definition is the transition of culture from one person to another or from one
generation to another, this is to say that tradition is as old as the world
itself. Tradition differs just as tribe differs, sometime ago a wise man said
something that rang in my head, though I counted it as nothing because I was
still a juvenile then, but now I know better that tradition is made for man and
not man for tradition.
A various practice in different
communities compel me to ask questions because it is appalling to still hear or
see such thing happen, we know what and how things goes and I think there are
things that we know deep down that needs amendment, such as marriage issue when
it comes to different tradition, it is alarming that some tradition discourages
young ones from marrying, like a young man posted on facebook sometime ago, he
said he called his father to ask him some questions, and his questions goes
thus: father how much does one need to build a house? The father replied, my
son, it depends on every individual.
One can build a house with five million
if you want to be moderate; the young man went further, father, if a young man
wants a car, how much will he need to get a good car? The father replied him
again, my son, it also depends on every individual, but you can get a good car
within the range of five hundred thousand and above, the son went ahead to ask
his father the last question, so father, if a young man want to marry a woman,
how much will it cost him?.
The father smiled and then replied,
my son, there is no specific amount for marriage, in fact, marriage is a debt
you can never offset till you die as a man, at the beginning you will do introduction
which will cost you money, then the bride price, known as the traditional
marriage after which the wedding, and it doesn’t stop there, if you mother in-law
is sick from then, you will pay, if her father is sick you will pay, if any of
her relation is sick you will pay and if her father or mother dies, you will as
well pay, you see, it is a debt of a life time.
If I may ask, what is the use of spending
much for introduction if the young man will some day comes back to pay for the bride
price after which the wedding, can’t we have one, if it is tradition okay, if
it is white wedding okay, a young man don’t have to spend his entire life
earnings marrying, and the most annoying is a tradition where a man pays the
money spent on a girl for her education, it seem the parents of the young lady
is selling her out, are we suppose to be trading our daughters like goods in
the market?
We should know that there is life
after marriage, there should be a check to expensive bride price in any part of
the world because it deprive young men and women to marry their choice or marry
on time, they are not commodities in the market, a simple and less expensive
marriage policy should be implemented to put a check to all these things,
somebody will say it is a tradition or culture which has been on and on,
tradition, there are bound to be change, we have the right to change whatever
is not favorable to us, our daughters can’t be in our house because of high
cost of marrying.
It is preposterous that some
tradition states that the first daughter of the family is never allow to marry
any other tribe rather than her tribe, in fact from same community, my question
is this, is she a kind of sacrificial lamb?, what is her business with the
community, she is a human being and should be allow to make her choice, you
shouldn’t impose anything on her in the name of tradition because it is not a
crime for her to come from such community.
SHORT COMING
- There is bound to be delay in marrying
- Young men and ladies are not allow to follow their heart
- Family impose men on their daughters
- The ladies out of frustration might marry the wrong person
- Lack of respect for the bride’s family
- The bride’s family might not be able to visit their daughter after marriage if the man is a bad person
- Unhappiness in marriage
SOLUTION
Tradition is made for man and not
man for tradition; this is to say that man can make changes to it, transited to
you does not mean people should die for what you know there is a solution, we
are the problem of ourselves which we are gradually passing on to our children
and it is not good, we should make a change to marriage tradition so that young
men and women can smile after wedding and not frowning because of the debt they
have incurred for marrying.
Let make a change so that we can be
happy, there is no way we will be happy if our daughters are not in a husband’s
house, it doesn’t tell good of us and where we come from, what we should
consider changing are as follows
- First daughters should be allowed to marry from wherever love leads her
- Bride price should be reduced
- Strangers should be treated as sons of the land when they come to ask for our daughter’s hand in marriage because of a true, if he marries our daughter, he becomes a “son” in-law
- Marriage list should be slashed down.
No comments:
Post a Comment