I wish to welcome you to the
house as we are about to discuss an important issue, it is very funny to see a
happy family soon turn unhappy family, a family that enjoys marriage soon
endures marriage, and sometime you see or hear couples attributing fault to
each other while as a matter of fact the problem is either or rather from nobody
but self desire that could no longer be met due to a present situation, when
such thing happens what is expected of the couples, should they divorced or
stay to endure the marriage, the answers to these questions is at our door post
but before we answer these questions, we like to advise you to read our
previous post
her so that you can get a better drive and understanding of what we are
about to discuss here today but if you have read and understood then let’s pull
the take off button so that we can make a proper and judicious use of our time
here.
Marriage is a thing of two
matured minds, meaning the minds of both parties should be fully groomed for
it, minds that accept and understands things the way they comes and not the minds
that thinks that one is wiser than the other or one is stupid while the other
is not marriage is beyond that, marriage is an institution of its own where
everything you need is already in place, the school, which is your home, the
teacher which is the experience, your classmate which is your husband or your
wife, the principal which is your ideas.
With these things in place, you
are not expected to miss a class any day because you are already in your class,
with this in place you are not suppose to fail any subject at anytime because
you have all things in place, if you don’t have all the books (food or money)
that does not mean you should fail a subject because research (additional
income job) is allowed in other to equip yourself for studies, as a student (man)
that a fellow student (woman) depends on, you must make sure that you go into
research so as to prepare yourself to defend and proffer solution to any mathematical
problem (family needs).
Some men do not understand a
simple philosophy that says: a tree cannot make up a forest, if a man believes
that his responsibility is to take of his family so therefore his wife should
be a full time house wife though nothing is wrong with that but at the same
time something is wrong with it, the purpose why your wife is created is never
to be a liability, it is never to be a person that sit and eat, if she were to
be such person, the Bible will not call her a help mate, a help mate is not an
eat mate, drink mate but a person who offer assistance at when needed, the
mentality of your wife looking on or another man chasing your wife if she
starts doing business or working is very wrong because if such thing will
happen without doing something it will happen and to be sincere with you her
idleness might even prompt her to it if she is not the responsible type.
Without taking much of our time,
we will like to hit the nail on the head so that we will know what and how to
save our family from this ugly virus call divorce, to me divorce is a force
that has never be confronted either because we are tired with the situation or
have found joy in somebody else, let’s consider some ingredients that can spice
and wake up an already failing marriage
STOP LOOKING FOR SOLUTION WHERE THERE IS NO SOLUTION
I don’t know why some persons thinks
that the best place to seek for solution is a fetish house, many marriages have
hit the rock because of that single mistake, some run to wrong friends for
advice, some tell the wrong persons their problems, as man or a woman, you have
a special gift embedded in you to attempt a problem before anybody else hears
or know about it, your marriage issue is too important to be discussed like
business, therefore, it should be a thing you must handle with care, you do not
know your friends or your enemies.
The place where your solution
lies is at the feet of God, no matter how small or big your problem is, God is
the only one that cannot compound your marital issues but proffer solution to
it, He is not like a friend that you will discuss your financial problem with and
will tell you, ha, you are a very nice woman I cannot tell that, my husband
gives me fifty thousand naira at the end of every month for feeding, whereas
her husband gives her twenty thousand who you might be better than and if you
are not wise, such thing might cause you your happiness, always take your marital
issues to God and your pastor for advice and not a callous friends.
STOP KEEPING WRONG FRIENDS
Nothing is as disastrous as
keeping wrong friends, no wonder they say show me your friends and I will tell
you who you are, your friends is the shadow of yourself, you cannot excerpt
yourself from this, if you want your marriage to work well for you then you
must first make the right friends, your friends has the will power to corrupt
your mind to do the things you were never brought up to do, a friend can make
your marriage crumble and end up marrying your ex-wife or husband.
Sometimes I wonder why a married
man will leave the comfort of his home drinking comfortably with the company of
his friends outside as late as twelve am, if your friend cannot resolve issues
between you and your wife then you are in a wrong vehicle and I will advise you
to disembark from that journey now that you can, a friend is a person who feels
what you feel, a friend is a person who always want to see you happy, a friend
is a person who always want to see things work well for you, what is more
important than marriage?.
Women and men should be careful
of the kind of friends they keep, don’t keep the kind of friends that believes
in all time merriment as a woman, let’s go grooving, your husband don’t have a
say, your husband is not suppose to dictate to you how you should live your life,
know this, no matter how beautiful a cloth is it fades in no time if not
properly cared for, that is how love is, love appreciates and depreciate, your
husband or wife should be your best friend, keep good friends to enjoy your
marriage, a friend whose mentality is different from yours is not worth it,
quit such friendship, a friend mentality should be the same as yours so that
both of your can encourage each other, respect each other and bear in that nobody is a saint.
DON’T DESPISE YOUR MARITAL VOW
In all things, don’t ever, ever
despise your marital vow, you as a married man or woman always remember the
reason your took the bow to say it is time to have a home, a home without
happiness or joy, fulfillment doesn’t come in because a closed hand can never
receive anything, happiness, joy, understanding opens door for better things to
come in, a home where there is no joy always lack one thing or the other, your
vow is to stay in the marriage in good and bad times.
If you have made such promise
either at the alter or at home, you have committed yourself to it and you
should keep to your promise because a vow is not to be broken but to be uphold,
nothing should make you turn back, you love that person before you enter into
the covenant with him or her, don’t let lustful desire sway you away from your vow,
if you see a beautiful lady outside that caught your attention, the best thing
you can do for yourself is to make your wife beautiful or even more beautiful
than any lady, if you see any man more
handsome than your husband outside, the best thing you can do for yourself is
to make your husband handsome even more than any man, value and appreciate what
you have.
Your marriage is your priority,
nothing is more important than marriage, marriage is what makes a man and a
woman complete.
SET A BUSINESS OR ALLOW YOUR WIFE TO WORK
No matter how wealthy you are,
allow your wife to do something, a woman should not sit down at home eating and
growing fat, her purpose of coming into your life is to assist you financially
and morally, she is to make your house a home, work might not be the best for
her as a married woman because of time, though it depends on your understanding
but business will be perfect, let her do something so that she will be
confident of herself.
A clock that ticks every seconds
and minutes sometime stop either because of an exhausted battery or it is faulty;
life is not in any way different, encourage your wife to do something, try to
know what she have in mind to do, depriving her from doing business will not
help matters, if you think that the business she wish to set up is not up to
your status then suggest other business to her that at least will encourage
both of you.
LET THERE BE A PLAY FAIR ROOM FOR SELF EXPRESSION
Women are very emotional, they
expresses their feelings through different medium, they cry when they are sad,
they cry when they are happy, they talk when they feel like talking, they laugh
when they feel like laughing at this time show some understanding because that
is what makes the different, don’t shut your wife half way when she is about
saying something, give her time to pour out what she have inside of her, listen
to her, let her know that you enjoys her company.
The happiness of any woman is to
know that her husband cares, love and cherish her which might not necessary be
in material things but in your attitude and the attention that you give to her,
play with her, smile with her and play all manners of Romeo and Juliet games
with her, make every moment with her fun, sing for her, tell her stories, make
her laugh and finally be her best friend, a friend she can tell everything, for
more details we advise you to read our previous topic on marriage.
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